Your first session.

You don't need to know the words

Many people put off a first BDSM session for years because they can't describe what they want, or worry it will sound strange. It won't. Tell us what you have read, watched or imagined, in your own words, and we will help you name it. "I'm curious about being tied up but I'm nervous" is a perfectly good first message.

What to ask for the first time

An hour is enough for a first session: long enough for a proper consultation, a gentle scene and time to come down afterwards. Pick one or two interests rather than ten. Good beginnings are light bondage and tease, role play, worship or a warm-up spanking. If you would rather start with something familiar, a massage is always an option.

Limits and the safeword

Before anything happens you tell us your hard limits: things that must never happen. We also agree a safeword. We use traffic lights: green means all good, amber means slow down and check in, red means everything stops, at once, with no questions and no penalty. If your mouth will be busy, you get a signal you can give with your hand instead.

The mistress checks in throughout. A first session is kept deliberately below the limits you set: there is plenty of time to go further on a second visit.

On the day

1. Arrive on time, sober and rested. Not early, not late. We won't start with a guest who has been drinking heavily.
2. A shower and a cup of tea before anything begins.
3. The consultation, again, face to face. Interests, limits, health and the safeword, confirmed in person.
4. The session, in a private suite, at the pace agreed.
5. Aftercare. Water, tea, a shower and time to talk about how it went, or not, as you prefer.

Common worries

"Will it hurt?"

Only if you want it to, and only as much as you agree. Many sessions involve no pain at all.

"What if I panic?"

Say red, or give your signal. Everything stops and you are looked after. Nobody will be annoyed.

"Is it sexual?"

No. Sessions are consensual power exchange and sensory play only, with no sexual contact of any kind.

"Will anyone find out?"

Not from us. We never share your details and we only contact you if you ask us to. See our privacy notice.